~Megumu's Bet~
Summary
To prove a point to her feuding subordinates, Megumu tries to pull off something only a dai-tengu could manage.
On a cold autumn evening, the tengu were warming up over potato soup and lamb chops. Meals were always a happy affair in the crow hangar, and the topic of conversation soon turned to a perennial favourite subject.
"I'm telling you," Aya told every soul in earshot, "Hatate's a hack! She doesn't even go out and take pictures of things, she just looks them up. There's no artistry!"
At the far end of the table, Hatate angrily swallowed some lamb. "At least I get results. Which one of us broke the news that Sumireko had dyed her hair?!"
"You got the picture off her own cosplay page," sneered Aya. "It was dreadful! I'd make a better Ruby than her. Um, do you-?" She cast a worried glance at Megumu, who was just finishing a bottle of wine. "How was that? Better than the first bottle?"
"Delicious," said Megumu breezily. "Waiter! Bring me another!"
"Wow..." Two bottles of strong booze was Aya's limit.
Hatate mellowed out a little as the potato soup flowed down her oesophagus, enough to realise something was wrong. She leaned past the stocky tengu on her right and shouted down the table. "Lady Megumu, you've been very quiet this evening! Is everything all right?"
"Well, since you asked." Scowling, Megumu took another gulp of wine. "You and Aya are getting me down. Every evening it's the same thing with you! 'I'm the best reporter!' 'No, I am!' 'I'm the best reporter and so's my wife!' absurd."
"Oh, I-I had no idea! I didn't mean to upset you!" Aya said earnestly. "All I was trying to do was establish the objective truth, which is that I'm clearly the best reporter!"
"Sure, if you count fiction as reporting," scoffed Hatate.
"Hatate, I'm trying to offer our leader some words of comfort."
"You're trying to puff up your ego as usual."
"No, you need to work with me-!"
"You need to get off your high horse-!"
"SHUT UP!"
The hangar fell silent. Aya and Hatate froze on top of the table with their hands at each other's throats. A blonde tengu tried politely to get Aya's foot out of her soup.
"The best reporter on Youkai Mountain is neither of you, because that reporter is me!" Megumu declared. "I'll make you a bet. By this time next week, I'm going to accomplish something beyond either of you. I'm going to take a picture of the Lunar Capital!"
"The Lunar...?" breathed Aya.
"...Capital?" Hatate finished for her. "But that's impossible! Not even thoughtography can get through their wards."
"I don't need thoughtography," said Megumu sweetly.
"The Lunarians are stronger than anything! Don't you remember what happened a few years ago?!" cried Aya.
"I don't need to fight them," said Megumu sweetly.
"Then how?" said Hatate.
"You'll see," said Megumu, now radiating the kind of smugness only a youkai could withstand. "More wine, please!"
"Is she coming? I don't think she's coming..."
It was next week. Aya had been waiting at the mountain's peak for five minutes, and she'd been fidgeting like mad for the last four and a half. "If Lady Megumu isn't here soon, we're legally allowed to leave. I shall be putting my name down for her position, assuming she's got lost or been executed-"
Hatate bonked Aya on the head. "Shut up! She's coming, look!"
A faint twinkle in the sky quickly turned into an oncoming blue-clad tengu. Aya and Hatate waved as Megumu slowed her descent and touched down on the rock.
"Lady Megumu, you look... completely uninjured!" said Hatate amazedly.
"Did you get the picture?" despite herself, Aya was eager to find out.
Megumu smiled. "Ladies," she declared, pulling a small, glossy cardboard square from inside her coat. "I present to you the Lunar Capital!"
Hatate and Aya leaned in closely and examined the picture. Megumu was there, and so were two armoured men. The three of them were posing cutely on a white stone courtyard, Megumu a little awkwardly since she'd been managing the camera. Behind them, the gleaming spires of the Lunar Capital stood proud like a cluster of lanky chess pieces.
Aya's jaw dropped. "No way...!"
"How did you do it?!" squeaked Hatate, clasping her hands over her mouth.
"First," said Megumu proudly, "I applied for a tourist visa."
"Tourist?!" gasped Aya.
"Visa?!" cried Hatate.
Megumu nodded. "Then I practiced free-diving until I could hold my breath long enough to fly to the moon. When I landed, these two were assigned to show me around." She gestured to the men in the picture. "They were a great laugh, especially when they started panicking over all the things I shouldn't have seen..."
"So... Is that it? You went to the Lunar Capital as a tourist and took pictures?" Aya pouted. "I thought you were going to pull off something truly amazing."
"But I did. Think about it, Aya. I didn't have to use violence or thoughtography, just plain common sense!" said Megumu, still radiating deadly levels of smugness. "And that's why you'll find that I am the best reporter. And Rinnosuke's the best at forging Lunarian diplomatic credentials."
Hatate snorted a sudden laugh. "All right, I've got to hand it to you. You are the best reporter!"
"Yes," sighed Aya. "The best reporter and spy."
Back: Touhou Shorts Index