The Legend of Hoshiro

Sent from the heavens, wielding rainbows and lightning in the name of peace and justice, Hoshiro Nijinazuma is Gensokyo's greatest warrior. Her decision-making skills, however, leave a lot to be desired.

Joined by like-minded friends, laughed at or reluctantly put up with by heroines from throughout the series, Hoshiro will fight her way through Touhou history and get every Incident completely wrong. What hilarious mishaps await her? Will she find love? The answers ("lots of them" and "maybe") lie within...

~Chapter 1: Night of the Scarlet Moon~

Many years ago, red mist blanketed a certain Eastern Wonderland in darkness. We all know the story of how Reimu and Marisa stormed the Scarlet Devil Mansion, but there were other Incident-Resolvers out that night, combating the mist however they could.

It was a moment Keine would never forget. While she wandered the cold, empty streets, something caught her eye. There was a pink light glimmering in the sky, growing bigger as she peered up through the fog. A distant roar sounded in her ears. Keine dove into Sekibanki's radish patch seconds before the light smashed into the road.

Smoke and hot gravel blew over Keine's back. After a few seconds she stood up, spat out the tuft of radish leaves that had found their way between her lips, and gasped.

There was a woman, tall and strong, standing where the shooting star had fallen. She took a deep breath and blew away the dense red mist that was creeping back towards her. She glanced up and down the street and, scowling quite cutely, reached into her coat pocket for a map.

"Ex... Excuse me!" Keine called out. "Are you all right? That looked like a bit of a rough landing."

"Hm?" The shooting star lady turned and took in Keine's hat. "That's a weird tokin. Oh, don't worry, I'm fine!"

"It's not a tokin. Anyway, I'm glad you're all right," said Keine. "Who are you?"

"From the golden realm on high, I am Hoshiro Nijinazuma, the forever champion!" The stranger struck a dynamic pose, her gloved fists planted on her hips and her wings spread wide. "I fight for love, hope, and children's precious smiles! I came here to put an end to the foul scarlet mist that's taken over the night."

"Eternal champion. That sounds like... great fun! I'm Keine Kamishirasawa, a history teacher and protector of the village," said Keine nervously.

"Lovely to meet you, tengu." Hoshiro bowed deeply in greeting.

Keine sighed and bowed in return. Despite the angle, her hat didn't shift a millimetre. "Now," she said, "I'm not a tengu, but that's immaterial. We usually land more gently around humans here, so if you could keep your shooting star activities to a minimum-"

"Got it. Do you know where the mist's coming from?" Hoshiro cut in.

"It- it looked like it was coming in from Misty Lake..."

"Misty Lake... Perfect." Hoshiro smiled. "That's just where I won't be going!"

Keine blinked. "Can I ask why not?"

"Use your loaf, Keine! Mist rolling in off one lake? Red mist? It's an obvious distraction! No, I'm going in the opposite direction." Hoshiro spun around on her toe and pointed a finger into the sky. "To the Garden of the Sun!"

Hoshiro took off with a wingbeat that scattered the mist and ruffled Keine's dress. Keine couldn't help but watch her blast up into the sky, wreathed in a burning pink glow, and soar away to the north.

"The... The garden's that way..." Keine felt a little useless pointing towards the sunflower-drenched field. Then she scowled. "Use my loaf?! The nerve of her!"

It was a weary and battered Hoshiro who sat in the pub that night, nursing a strong beer and several poison ivy burns. Her sadness, such as it was, went for a burton the moment Reimu and Marisa came in.

"Hey, you're that shrine maiden!" Hoshiro gasped, letting her chair clatter on the floor as she stood up. "And you must be Alice! I'm so glad you're here! I'm getting nowhere with this stupid mist."

The Incident-Resolvers both jumped at the sound of her voice. Dressed in red and pink with short, pointy horns that almost reached the ceiling, she was an awe-inspiring sight. Marisa tried not to blush at the size of her biceps.

"My only lead was an angry woman with an umbrella. I couldn't get anything out of her," continued Hoshiro, "except fifty million minor injuries. But I think, if we work together, we could find whoever's making the scarlet mist and put a stop to it!"

Reimu looked at Marisa with raised eyebrows. Marisa clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle a fit of laughter.

"Well..." A grin spread across Reimu's face, but she held back her laughter. "Rin did come down with food poisoning, so we're looking for a third teammate. You know Rin Satsuki, right?"

"Never heard of her!" said Hoshiro brightly. "But I'd be happy to fill in!"

"Well, the thing is," began Reimu.

"Tell her, Reimu, tell her!" gasped Marisa, taking a break from laughing.

"The thing is," giggled Reimu, "we've done it already. The whole thing's sorted. You know that mysterious mansion on the cliffside next to Misty Lake? We found a little girl living there who was also a dangerous vampire, and it turned out she made the mist to keep the sun away, so we knocked some sense into her! It's sorted."

Hoshiro's face fell. "You mean... They WERE at the lake?"

"Next to it," giggled Reimu. "You got completely lost, um... Who are you?"

"Hoshiro Nijinazuma, the forever champion. I fight for love, hope, and children's precious smiles," Hoshiro said glumly. "And wild goose chases, apparently. I should've listened to Keine!"

"Oho, really? Most people take at least a few weeks to realise that!" Keine had just stepped into the pub. "I see you survived Yuuka at least. What went wrong for you, Hoshiro?" she asked, pulling up a chair.

"Oh... It was one silly mistake," groaned Hoshiro.

Marisa nudged Keine. "Get yourself a strong drink," she giggled. "Come on, Hoshiro, tell the teacher what happened!"

Hoshiro cleared her throat. "For starters, it took me hours to find the Garden of the Sun, and the umbrella lady was really upset..."