The Legend of Hoshiro

Sent from the heavens, wielding rainbows and lightning in the name of peace and justice, Hoshiro Nijinazuma is Gensokyo's greatest warrior. Her decision-making skills, however, leave a lot to be desired.

Joined by like-minded friends, laughed at or reluctantly put up with by heroines from throughout the series, Hoshiro will fight her way through Touhou history and get every Incident completely wrong. What hilarious mishaps await her? Will she find love? The answers ("lots of them" and "maybe") lie within...

~Chapter 4: Where Did You Last See Your Moon?~

"A little there, not too saggy..." Keine was fingering through tufts of pampas grass in a dark red vase, squinting to see the slender stalks in the moonlight. "I think that's good enough. Oh, Hoshiro, be careful with that statue!"

"Don't worry, I've got it!" Wearing a pink builder's helmet with red decor, Hoshiro set the statue down ever so gently. It slammed into the ground with a deafening boom. The playground trembled, throwing up gravel and half the frog pond, while Hoshiro glowed with pride.

"That was the opposite of careful!" Keine sighed. "Why did we let them lumber us with that thing?!"

"They're harvest goddesses! Children can look at it during the festival and learn, um... Er..." Hoshiro regarded the five-metre-tall effigy of the Aki Sisters and laughed loudly. "Her foot's the wrong way round! Look!"

With a heavy heart, Keine looked. Even in the dark there was no mistaking it; both of Minoriko's rough granite legs ended in left feet. "Well, that's just the icing on the cake, isn't it? Some guests of honour they're shaping up to be."

"What if she really looks like that?" proposed Hoshiro. "Two left feet. Could she still walk?"

"I don't know," Keine said with a shrug. "At least it's something interesting to tell your pen pal. Do you want to give me a hand with the tsukimi dango tomorrow?"

Hoshiro flashed a dauntless thumbs-up. "Count on it, sister!" she grinned, only to frown moments later. "Actually, my pen pal hasn't written for months. I hope she's all right up there."

"Up where?"

"The moon."

Keine's jaw dropped. She covered it hastily with a hand. "That's... interesting!" she said with a nervous laugh. "Perhaps she's busy, or they had her executed. It isn't as though something could be wrong with the moon!"

"Something could be wrong with the moon?!" Hoshiro's jaw dropped as well. "But how?! It's made of stone!"

"No, do- don't worry about it! Oh, no, I can tell what's about to happen."

Hoshiro craned her neck and peered up at the shining disc immersed in darkness. She pushed the sound of Keine fretting to the back of her mind and took in every detail. The moon still shone creamily white, the grey rabbit still thumped her mochi barrel, but...

The more she stared, the less familiar it felt. The rabbit's left ear was a sliver too short, the moon's southern curve just a fraction less gibbous than it should be. Hoshiro's heart went cold. "Keine... That isn't the moon!"

Keine took a deep breath. "You're right, that's a fake moon. I knew all along. Now DON'T worry, I know it sounds bad but we can trust the people who might be behind this! This won't be easy to take in-"

"Don't joke about it, Keine! They turned a whole moon off!" Dozens of possibilities ran through Hoshiro's brain, making her scowl in vexation. "Here's what we know. The moon's made of stone. It pulls the tides and gives us waterbending. It reflects sunlight, so if it's stopped shining, that means..." She gasped in horror. "Oh, no! The sun!"

"These noodles are delicious! How did you make them?"

Uke Mochi smiled sweetly. "I cut my hair. I hope it's not too stringy..."

"Oh, no, it isn't stringy at all! It's perfect." Amaterasu twiddled another bolus of noodles around her chopsticks and ate them happily. "Mmm... You're absolutely delicious!"

"You know I am." Uke Mochi leaned over the table and gave Amaterasu a kiss, getting curry on her nose for the trouble. "Just as well you know how to eat!"

Leaving Amaterasu to blush, Uke Mochi got to work on her own dinner. She was just chewing the last of her tonkatsu when the door flew open and smacked the wall.

"It's the sun! You have to listen to me!" A frantic, panting Hoshiro stumbled into the room. She took a few breaths, whipped off her hard hat and bowed to each goddess in turn. "Lady Amaterasu, the sun's disappeared!"

"Hm?!" Amatarasu stared at her, some noodles still hanging from her lips. "Mmxfcufe mymm momnft." The sun goddess swallowed noisily, wiped her mouth and spoke again. "Who are you, exactly? And how did you get in here?"

"Hoshiro Nijinazuma, ma'am! I came in through the door!" Hoshiro said formally and frantically, which was a tricky combination. "You have to do something about the sun! Light it again, or... or something!"

"Ah... Ryuujin's other other daughter." sighed Amaterasu, laying down her chopsticks. "Hoshiro, wasn't it? You might not have noticed, but the sun actually rises again in the morning. That's why people sleep at night."

"I know, but this is different! The moon stopped shining, which means it can't be reflecting the sun's light any more, which means the sun must've disappeared! Nothing else would make sense!" Hoshiro insisted.

Amaterasu groaned. "Listen. I am the sun goddess. If the sun had truly disappeared, I would feel it, but I don't! I'm fine! Whatever did happen to the moon, I'm not dealing with it. Goodbye, Hoshiro."

"You won't even check?!" Hoshiro's cheeks puffed out with anger. "I know this is a bad time, and I'm sorry, but you have a duty to the world! If the sun OR the moon were to disappear-"

"ENOUGH!" Amaterasu's chair burst into flames as she stood, wreathed in white-hot fire. "You burst into my palace, ruin my date and accuse me of derelicting my duty?! How dare you?!"

"Calm down, Amaterasu! I'm sure she doesn't mean any harm," Uke Mochi shrank back from the heat, sweat beading on all her exposed skin. "You don't, do you, Hoshiro?"

"No, I-"

"She was just leaving," said Amaterasu firmly. "I'm sure we won't be interrupted again, Uke-chan. This evening is meant for the two of us and no-one else."

"No, I'm not going until you take this seriously!" Hoshiro snapped with an angry stomp of her foot.

Amaterasu's eyes narrowed. "Then I have to get rid of you, haven't I?"

Hoshiro felt the floor lurch, then she was floating in a dark, miles-wide arena above an endless lake of fire. Sitting at the now floating table, Uke Mochi gave Amaterasu a rueful look.

"The child of a god should know we aren't to be messed with. Your have power over rainbows and nice weather, don't you? Those are nothing compared to nuclear fire!" Amaterasu laughed, spreading her hands wide. "Well, Hoshiro, do you still want to try my patience?"

Hoshiro slid her helmet back over her horns and struck a dynamic pose. "Forever Champion, Hoshiro Nijinazuma! I fight for honour, integrity and taking problems seriously! Refusing to care for your celestial body is unforgivable, and for the moon's sake, I'll knock some sense into you!" Her expression brightened. That had been a good speech.

"Then bring it on!" Amaterasu gathered orbs of yellow light between her fingers. "Heliospheric Sign: Plasma Waltz!"

A thousand yellow bullets filled the arena, rolling over each other in an intricate dance of triangles and hexagons. They pressed in on Hoshiro from all sides, her graze metre blurring as she twisted and squeezed between them. The heat was incredible; even slathered in factor 120 sun cream, her skin reddened.

Hoshiro wiped some steaming sweat off her forehead. "Wow..." A smile crossed her lips. "THAT was a spell-card! Lunatic mode rocks!"

Amaterasu recoiled in bestartlement. Uke Mochi breathed a sigh of relief.

"But we aren't just playing. Here's my spell-card!" declared Hoshiro, thrusting out her arm. "Fire Mastery: Red Tuesday!"

Reams of red bullets burst into life behind Hoshiro and came howling fowards. Amaterasu floated still and smiled as the bullets shattered against her.

"Have you forgotten?" Amaterasu said sweetly. "I'm the sun. Enraged Plasma: Solar Eruption!"

Amaterasu's eyes flashed. Streams of orange fire poured out of her mouth. Curving in all directions, looping out and back behind her, they filled the battlefield with light. Hoshiro twisted and wove between the strands of fire, but there was too much moving too fast. Burning pain struck her heart as the burning plasma struck her heart.

"Ow!" yelped Hoshiro. Amaterasu's fire dissipated, but the damage was done; the rainbow on her jumper would never be the same.

Uke Mochi stood up. "Ama-chan, I think she's got the message."

"I have, Lady Uke Mochi! I can't burn the sun," said Hoshiro, her eyes full of determination. "I'll put her out instead! Descended Power: Fleet Erasing Typhoon!"

Dark clouds gathered above Hoshiro, flashing turquoise as lightning arced between them. A wall of raindrop bullets poured out of the billowing grey and surged towards Amaterasu.

Amaterasu rolled her eyes. Every bullet that came close to her turned to steam, the rest whizzing harmlessly past.

"Nice try," smiled Amaterasu. "Sadly, Hoshiro, you're completely out of your league. I am a Noble Child, the greatest of Izanagi's children, and Ryuujin himself couldn't douse my flame! Borrowing his power will get you nowhere."

"I have all the power I need, Amaterasu!" Arcs of electricity crackled out of Hoshiro's heart and flowed down her arms. She thrust out a hand full of multicoloured lightning. "Nijinazuma: Seven-Coloured Strike!"

The bolt shot out, burning across the void to strike Amaterasu. She held out her hand to catch it.

"Aaaargh-!" Amaterasu grit her teeth as the lightning sizzled through her. "Fine, the kid gloves are coming off! Parhelion: Triple Okami!"

Two cream-coloured copies of Amaterasu winked into existence, flanking their true self on either side. As one they threw curving white rays that spiralled through the void, hemming Hoshiro in on all sides.

There were too many to count. A beam struck Hoshiro in the stomach, then another knocked her legs out from underneath her. She cried out as she spun helplessly.

Amaterasu laughed triumphantly. "I'm not ready to put my gloves back on yet, you stupid girl!" She raised a hand full of fire. "Taiyo Ray: Spear of Daybreak!"

Uke Mochi gasped. "She's defenceless! You can't!"

"Thank you, but don't count me out yet!" Hoshiro hit the brakes, her psychic force screeching against the vacuum, and stared Amaterasu down. A shimmering ball of energy grew between her hands. "By the light inside my heart, for love, truth and justice until the end of time! Hypermagination: Ryujo Beam!"

Two blindingly bright beams, white nuclear fire and vivid pink spirit energy, collided in midair. Sparks flew out in all directions. Hoshiro grit her teeth and poured as much power into the beam as she could muster, slowly but surely pushing Amaterasu back.

Then the Taiyo Ray doubled in intensity, roaring like a gale as it burned through the Ryujo Beam. Fire washed over Hoshiro, throwing her backwards through the void. She screamed, tumbling head over heels down and down until...

Her back thumped against something solid. She was in the dining room, her clothes smouldering, a sun goddess crowing over her.

"Is that enough for you?" Amaterasu smirked, waving away wisps of smoke. "You should be proud of yourself, Hoshiro! I hardly ever have to use both hands to win a beam duel. Now, do I hear an apology?"

"What does SHE have to apologise for?! You're humiliating her!" Uke Mochi snapped.

"She won't learn any other way," Amaterasu insisted. "Or will you, Hoshiro?"

Hoshiro glared up at Amaterasu through swimming eyes. "You still don't understand," she groaned. "The world needs a sun and a moon, b-because without them... We'd be bereft! That's why, even if it costs my life, I have to make you take this seriously! I won't ever give up!"

"Fine. Then you will burn forever in cosmic fire, every atom of your body torn to shreds by, by- Uke-chan, where are you going?!"

"I can't watch any more of this!" Uke Mochi was storming away. Amaterasu ran after her, looking more like a lost puppy than the vengeful goddess from moments ago.

"Hold on, Uke-chan, this isn't my fault! She just won't go away!" Amaterasu protested, grabbing her lover's sleeve. "I was trying to get rid of her, she just wouldn't-"

Uke Mochi met her with a furious look. "Get rid of her?! You were trying to kill her! All Hoshiro did was ask about the sun- it was under the arena, by the way, safe as houses- but apparently that's a good enough reason to go ballistic." She sighed. "Why do you do things like this?"

"I..." Amaterasu swallowed. "I wanted to prove that I... To show you I wouldn't let anything ruin our evening together. You mean everything to me, Uke Mochi!"

Uke Mochi stared at her for a few seconds, then scoffed. "You're as bad as your brother sometimes."

"What?!" Amaterasu's jaw dropped. "How can you say that?! He killed you once!"

"Not him! The other one!" snapped Uke Mochi. "What could beating this poor dragon into the ground possibly prove, other than that you have no self-control?"

"No, I-!" Amaterasu bit her lip. "That's not what I was doing! I wanted to teach her-"

"That she should never speak up when there's a problem? Or that you always act like a maniac to impress women?"

"No, I... Aaaaargh!" Amaterasu put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry, all right?!"

"It's her you need to apologise to."

Amaterasu bristled for a moment, but there seemed to be no way out of it. Swallowing her pride, she made for Hoshiro.

Hoshiro had been staring in amazement, awestruck by Uke Mochi's diplomacy, and also wishing she hadn't worn a jumper. She offered a wary smile as Amaterasu approached her.

"Um." Amaterasu cleared her throat. "Hello. Amaterasu-Oomikami here. I would like to offer you my deepest and sincerest apologies for trying to annihilate you. And for reacting badly when you interrupted our date with a trivial question a momentary glance at the sun could more easily have-"

"Don't try and turn this into one of those 'I did nothing wrong' apologies, Ama-chan," Uke Mochi warned her.

Amaterasu scowled, wondering for a brief moment whether having a girlfriend was worth the cost to her pride. She sighed heavily. "I'm sorry I was so standoffish. And impatient. And overwhelmingly violent. I hope you can forgive me, Hoshiro."

Hoshiro took a deep breath. "Lady Amaterasu, it's... It's all right. What you did to me was arrogant and overreactive, but that isn't who you are. You made a mistake, and everybody makes mistakes." She looked down at her feet and sighed. "You were right as well. I shouldn't have come as soon as I thought something was wrong and just burst in."

"Well, I'm glad you're seeing-"

"I should've collected my thoughts and rung the doorbell," Hoshiro admitted. "Anyway, now that we're friends, could you check on the moon?"

"...Very well." Amaterasu disappeared. She reappeared a few moments later, looking quite confused. "It's still there, but I did notice some unusual clouds over Gensokyo, and what looked like an enormous circle of white cardboard?"

"The plot thickens," said Uke Mochi.

"It really does." Hoshiro frowned worriedly. "I have to get back before it's too thick to stir. Please try and work on your temper, Lady Amaterasu. And if you must fight somebody over something that doesn't really matter, use safe spell-cards, not the burning kind, all right?"

"All right..." pouted Amaterasu. "You have my word. Now, I'm sure you have your plot to unthicken, so we won't keep you any longer. Why don't you head out now, as in right now, and Uke-chan and I will... Finish our meal."

"I'm glad I got to meet you, Lady Amaterasu. You too, Lady Uke Mochi." Hoshiro turned around and headed to the door. "Bye!"

"Come back soon!" said Uke Mochi brightly.