The Legend of Hoshiro

Sent from the heavens, wielding rainbows and lightning in the name of peace and justice, Hoshiro Nijinazuma is Gensokyo's greatest warrior. Her decision-making skills, however, leave a lot to be desired.

Joined by like-minded friends, laughed at or reluctantly put up with by heroines from throughout the series, Hoshiro will fight her way through Touhou history and get every Incident completely wrong. What hilarious mishaps await her? Will she find love? The answers ("lots of them" and "maybe") lie within...

~Chapter 8: Yatagarasu Fusion~

Hoshiro's face lit up. She folded the letter, stuffed it in her pocket and tore open the box, gasping with delight when she saw what was inside. Her armour was all there, its burnished scarlet sheen a little scuffed but every bit as bright as she remembered.

Beaming most beamily, Hoshiro took out a pair of sharp metal-plated boots and laid them down with a clank. The dented greaves, the scalemail skirt, the cuirass covered in stickers, the curvy pauldrons, the ornate arm guards and the winged silver tiara she lay above them. Finally she took out her old gauntlets and lay them beside the suit with a soft clank. And there it was.

There was a time centuries ago when Hoshiro spent all day in her armour. She would wander the gardens, practice martial arts for hours and try to pluck up the courage to play with her sisters before they were called in for dinner. "Must you wear that ludicrous get-up?" her parents would complain. "You're twenty-six! Try acting like it for once."

It looked a bit tatty now, dented, scuffed and probably too tight in the chest, but the armour was her childhood. After more than a thousand years stuffed in the loft, it deserved an adventure.

Hoshiro slid off her boots and gloves, untoggled her tank top and removed her hat. Piece by piece she adorned herself in pink metal, buckling everything on in all the right places. At last she stood up with a gleeful smile and shouted her old battle cry. "For the honour of Ryuugu-jou!"

Nothing happened, but for one moment she felt like she was standing on top of the universe. She laughed and hugged herself with glee. If being twenty-six meant living a boring, respectable life, Hoshiro was forever twenty-five.

The Hakurei Shrine was looking a little different when Hoshiro got there, eager to show off her armour.

"Oh, my!" observed Hoshiro, staring up into a roaring column of water. It was blasting out of the mountainside, leaving a wide, steaming pool that took up half of Reimu's garden. "I thought water features were expensive!"

"Shut up!" Reimu whapped Hoshiro's tiara with a faint ting. "Actually, to tell you the truth, I didn't buy it. It just appeared from out of nowhere. I'm thinking of starting a hot spring-"

"Of course, because a geyser appearing completely out of nowhere is the perfect chance to make a profit, not a sign of impending disaster the Shrine Maiden of Paradise should be doing something about!" a voice cut in. A woman was approaching, her silky pink hair fanning out beneath two cloth buns and her dress tight around a perfect body.

Reimu's face darkened. "I told you, Kasen, I don't care! Will you please leave me alone?!"

"You have a duty to investigate this type of thing! Yukari agrees with me! She says the geyser could've been caused by underground seismic activity, or a sign of impending attack!" Kasen insisted, slamming her hands onto her hips fiercely enough to make Reimu flinch and Hoshiro gasp. "Why are you just standing there?!"

"I- I'm not!" Glaring at Kasen, Reimu walked backwards all the way to her shrine and slammed the door. "Goodbye, Kasen! Feel free to drop in again when Hell freezes over!"

Kasen sighed. "Of all the shrines in all the world, I had to walk into hers... Oh, hello!" She examined Hoshiro. "I haven't seen you before. Who are you?"

"M- me?!" Blushing vividly, Hoshiro took a deep breath and spun into a heroic pose. "The Lovestruck Champion- Nope. Forever Champion, Hoshiro Nijinazuma! I fight for love, beauty and kiss me- Can I start again?!"

Hoshiro was acutely aware that Kasen was staring at her. She took a deep breath and spun into a different pose. "Forever Champion, Hoshiro Nijinazuma! I fight for love, truth and a bright future! YES! Got it!"

"...Well done. Delighted to meet you," said Kasen, offering Hoshiro a hand. "I am Kasen Ibaraki, a Taoist mystic and mentor to ungrateful shrine maidens. I fight for various things as and when needed."

"Delighted to meet you too, Kasen!" Hoshiro's heart fluttered as she shook Kasen's strong, slender hand. She took a deep breath and forced herself to stay calm. "I heard you talking to Reimu. What's wrong about the geyser?!"

"I don't entirely know, but it's very suspicious for a geyser to appear out of nowhere. It could be a sign of seismic activity, youkai messing around or both," explained Kasen. She spoke with confidence in a high, powerful voice. "Probably both. We should assume it's both and carry on from there."

"But both could be dreadful!" gasped Hoshiro. "Kasen! Even if Reimu's busy, I'll lend you my strength! Together we could handle anything underground! E-especially if we hold hands! So we don't fall?"

"Wait a minute! Why are you trying to get involved?!"

"I'm an Incident-Resolver! Being involved in things is my job!" said Hoshiro, full of fervent determination. "I'm extra-stage certified, I can lift a bus and my Ryujo Beam can reshape mountains! And if there is danger underground, it's everybody's business, not just yours. I can't ignore this!"

"You hear the faintest whisper of trouble and want to help, just like that?" Kasen spent a moment in thought, then she laughed. "Of course! You're absolutely right. People should solve problems- should WANT to solve problems! That's what so many of us lose sight of. We have one world to share, so we all need to take care of it."

"Exactly! Leave the world better than you found it," said Hoshiro, nodding in agreement. "So the geysers-"

"I suppose I'm not used to people like you, who want to pitch in right off the bat," Kasen carried on. "Most people in Gensokyo want money, food or the promise of a good time before they'll take action, or even just pretend to help when all they care about is the food."

"Some people don't take things seriously-"

"It isn't right!" snapped Kasen. "Fair enough, Incidents are a game, but we still need to get up and play it because if you don't play, you lose! People can't simply let themselves fester, Hoshiro. We must be strong, be brave, find every bit of strength that we have and never let it go! Because that is how we grow!"

"M-my thoughts exactly..." Hoshiro's head was spinning. "Kasen...! I've never met someone like you before! You're incredible!" she squealed, bouncing up and down with glee. "We'll be Utena and Anthy, Ty Lee and Mai, bound through danger by eternal love! Ohhh, I can't WAIT to take on the underground with you!"

"Wh- what are-? Ah. Right." Kasen came down from her rant, her face heavy with complicated emotions. "Eternal love we can discuss later. Unfortunately, due to circumtances, I can't visit the underground."

"Why not? Are you scared of caves? Or stalactites? The dark? Spiders? Bats? Oni? Badger-moles? Or magma, perhaps?"

"No, it's just that surface-dwelling... I wouldn't be allowed in Former Hell."

"Oh." Hoshiro tilted her head in confusion. "But you're clearly from underground!"

Kasen's eyes widened. "NO! I- I mean how can you possibly tell?!"

"Your aura's... subterranean?" Hoshiro lost steam when she saw the look Kasen was giving her. "What's wrong? I didn't mean anything, you're just clearly an underground youkai!"

"Listen! As far as... youkai are concerned, I'm far from normal. I am no longer what I was in the past," Kasen said carefully, pressing a hand to her forehead. "It took a lot of effort to remake myself into what you see now, but going by biology, I could still be considered a-"

Hoshiro gasped softly. "You're trans too?! Oh, Kasen, it's fine!" With a tender smile she took Kasen's hands. "We don't need to hide who we are, not even in Former Hell."

"Tra- trans...?" Kasen took a moment to gather her thoughts. "Well. I- I'm glad," she said carefully, "that here in Gensokyo we can live as who, and what, we truly are?"

"Gensokyo's the absolute best! Come to my arms!" Before Kasen could react, Hoshiro was hugging her tightly. "And Kasen, really, they aren't transphobic in Former Hell. Don't you know that, since you're also an oni?"

Kasen shut her eyes, shoved Hoshiro away and took a few heavy breaths. "Are you taking the point biscuits, Hoshiro?! Gods help me! I am not transed in my gender! I'm an oni- Not an oni- Aaaargh, IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN!"

"Sooooo, you're an oni-to-Taoist trans woman instead of the usual sort and it's a secret to everyone?"

"Pretty much." Kasen led the way down winding paths through the Bamboo Forest, her elegant shoes clomping on the earth. "Right, with that out of the way, our destination-"

"Oi! Are you Hoshiro the dragon?"

Hoshiro and Kasen both started. Ahead of them, making the path her kingdom despite her tiny stature, was a black-haired rabbit in a little pink dress.

"Oh!" cried Hoshiro. "It's, er! It's, um! Ohhh, who was she? I'm sure I know her!"

"It's Tewi," said Kasen, giving the rabbit a stare.

"Who, me? I'm Mystia Lorelei, night sparrow and independent tradeswoman!" said Tewi, smiling sweetly.

"Of course! Mystia! So sorry," said Hoshiro, playing sheepishly with her hair.

"No, she's Tewi," said Kasen, glaring at Tewi.

"Anyway," said Tewi formally, "I come bearing a message from Princess Kaguya! Her Royal Loonyness cordially invites you to an afternoon of board games at the House of Eternity with Cirno, Eirin, Sakuya, Reisen and herself. Please send your RSVP back with the rabb- With the night sparrow."

Her work complete, Tewi curtsied primly and stuck out her tongue.

"Oh..." Hoshiro bit her lip. "Thanks, Mystia, but tell her I'm busy. We have to stop the geysers before things get worse!"

"She's Tewi!" snapped Kasen.

Tewi nodded. "I'll tell her you're fooling around with your girlfriend and can't be bothered. Byeeee~!"

Hoshiro turned red. Kasen lunged at Tewi. Tewi was away in a flash, her feet blurring into a circle as she sprinted back through the forest, Kasen's fingers closing on thin air where her ears had been just seconds ago.

"Gods save me!" sighed Kasen, having a stretch. "You do realise that was Tewi, don't you? Not Mystia?"

"I don't know!" squeaked Hoshiro, still blushing vividly. "Remind me, where are we going?! I lost my train of thought!"

"To the Fantastic Blownhole, gateway to the Underworld. Speaking of which!" Kasen reached inside her pocket and pulled out a round silver amulet, etched with a spiral and inlaid with a single blue sapphire. "This is a karageitai sigil, an enchanted device that uses Taoist magic to let people talk over long distance. Do you have one?"

"No, but..." Hoshiro burrowed a hand under her armour and searched her pockets. "I have a mobile phone!" Beaming with pride, she presented a pink flip phone covered in Cardcaptor Sakura and Super Sentai stickers.

Of course she does. Of grazing COURSE she does, Kasen didn't groan. "Oh... Good!" she did say, and then tapped her sigil against the phone. "If you have a modern SIM card, we'll be able to communicate while you're underground. All right?"

I got her number! Half an hour together and I got her number! Hoshiro didn't squeal with joy. "Right on! Thanks, Kasen!" she did say, spinning around and punching the air. "No time to waste. To the Fantastic Blowhole!"

The cave was a vast round space carved deep into the rock, damp and rough underfoot with just enough light to see. Hoshiro was glad of her armour as she stomped over sharp rocks underfoot, but wished for her tank top when a cold breeze blew from down below.

"Hoshiro, can you hear me?" Soft and echoey, Kasen spoke into Hoshiro's ear as if they were standing side by side.

"Loud and clear, Kasen!" A person with more sense might have wondered how a mobile phone could do that, but not Hoshiro.

"Good. The deep road to Hell is about half a mile ahead of you, but in the meantime you'll have tsurubi-otoshi and tsuchigumo to contend with. Is your objective clear?"

"Of course!" Hoshiro nodded firmly. "I've been developing a new attack, too. Ryujo Shot! It's a controlled release of divine power, fit for danmaku and other non-lethal stuff."

"I hope it works, then. Be careful," said Kasen.

Hoshiro may or may not have been careful; it didn't matter, because half a minute later a thick, heavy crunch echoed throughout the cave. Chunks of brown stone began to fall like hail, smashing into the floor and throwing up clouds of dust.

On the bright side, this was the perfect chance to try her new technique. Hoshiro took aim above her head and thrust out her arm, her gauntleted fingers outstretched. "Ryujo Shot!"

An orb of pink light flashed out from her palm, streaking through the air like a bullet. The plummeting boulder exploded in a shower of gravel when it hit.

"Wow! Amazing!" Hoshiro beamed, then a piece of debris hit her head. "OW!"

"Ah..." Kasen hoped Hoshiro couldn't hear her cringing at her forgetfulness. "That reminds me, watch out for falling boulders! You'll need to shoot or evade them. Think of it as the cavern roof using a spell-card against you if that helps!"

"Thank you for warning me!" Hoshiro readied another Ryujo Shot and launched herself across the cavern.

Her metal boots clanking, Hoshiro ran beneath the cascading rocks, firing at anything which came her way. The bashing and crunching of boulders on the floor joined the bright, pulsing notes of her bullets in a deafening chorus. There was barely time to think, but within a minute the last boulder fell and Hoshiro skidded to a halt in a flat, dusty stretch of cave.

She heard something creak high above her. Hoshiro gasped and dove away moments before a wooden bucket slammed down where she'd been standing.

The cave trembled, clouds of dust pouring from the bucket's foot. From inside the wooden water-carrying device a green-haired woman glared, her eyes full of bloodlust.

"A tsurubi-otoshi...!" Hoshiro narrowed her eyes and charged up her Ryujo Shot. "I'm on a vital mission to stop the geyser in Reimu's garden! Don't get in my way!"

"Well, doesn't that sound like a splendid time? That being said, I'll get in whoever's way I happen to fancy." With a vicious smile, Kisume launched herself upwards and came flying bucket-first at Hoshiro.

Hoshiro fired, but the bullet burst harmlessly on the bottom of the bucket. She dove underneath, her armour grinding against the stone, and somersaulted to her feet.

"An armoured bucket!" Hoshiro bit her lip. "I have to expose her non-bucket side! Next time she comes for me-"

"She's coming for you!"

Kisume came for her. Hoshiro drew back her fist and swung just as the bucket bore down upon her. In a moment which felt like several seconds she heard the clash of gauntlet upon wood, felt the impact jar her knuckles, then Kisume went spinning into the air and fell on her head.

Hoshiro charged forwards, somersaulting over the dusty ground, and grabbed the bucket. Kisume reached out feebly to stop her, but to no avail. Hoshiro smashed the bucket against a boulder and stomped it into splinters.

"There!" she said, standing triumphantly over the stunned Kisume. "Done and done."

Kisume stared open-mouthed for another second, then her eyes filled with tears. "Wh-what have you done?!" she squeaked, all but choking on her grief. "A tsurubi-otoshi without her bucket is nothing!"

Hoshiro was horrified. "Y-you attacked me! I had to fight back! Don't feel bad, it wasn't personal."

"My sanctum sanctorum, my second body, my weapon, my greatest treasure, nothing else now but a pile of rubbish. O, whatever will I do?! I shall be an outcast, rejected by my sistren forevermore," sniffled Kisume.

"Augh, I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" Hoshiro fell to her knees in front of Kisume. "I had no idea it was important to you!"

"What are you-?! Hoshiro, she's playing you!" said Kasen urgently.

"I-I can nail it back together or get you another one! Come on, don't cry! I swear I'll make this right!" sobbed Hoshiro, brushing a hand over Kisume's tear-wet cheek. "Do you want compensation? A cake or money?"

"No, don't get close to her! She's taking you for a fool-"

Kisume blinked back her tears and headbutted Hoshiro with tremendous force. Hoshiro flew onto her back with a painful clatter.

"Oww, what on-?! Ow!" whimpered Hoshiro, stars swimming before her eyes.

"You're so easy," grinned Kisume, rising triumphantly to her feet. "I can purchase a new bucket at any reputable garden centre. But I must thank you; today I needed a victory, something to redress the balance after that broad humiliated me with her energy beams."

"I told you, didn't I?! Never trust crocodile tears!" Kasen bit her lip. "Hoshiro? Can you hear me?"

Hoshiro propped herself up on her elbows and groaned. "That was a cheap shot," she said severely, glaring daggers at Kisume.

"Thank heavens!" Kasen let out a sigh of relief.

"Fake distress is banned under the spell-card rules since Revision Three! Shame on you!" Hoshiro ranted as she stood up. "The rules protect Gensokyo's ecosystem in various ways!"

"Oh, may the gods forgive me," sneered Kisume. "That being said, since you're still on your feet-"

"I don't want to hear it! I'm going!" snapped Hoshiro, storming into the cave away from Kisume.

"Um, just a minute-"

"Goodbye!"

"You haven't... Technically... Defeated me..." Kisume sagged in resignation. "Got to put my stupid bucket back together now. Yamame! Yamame, where's the glue?!"

"Why?" moaned Yamame, sprawled out in a pile of discarded webbing. "Why'd I give Kisume my best pot of glue?! She wouldn't do the same for me!"

"The tsurubi-otoshi? She's bad news," said Hoshiro, nodding sympathetically. "But sticky spell-cards aren't fun, so she helped me!"

"I could've won if I'd been firing on all cylinders, y'know!" sassed Yamame. "A nice drink of glue before a duel's the way to go."

Hoshiro felt sick. "Sorry you missed out," she said weakly.

"I'd move on if I were you," Kasen piped up. "After the bridge-"

"Wow, that's beautiful!"

"Oh, have you found something?"

Lit faintly by a brazier at the side of the cave was a gleaming marble statue. It depicted a tall, winged tengu, her plaits shaped as if flowing in the wind, standing proudly over an orange metal orb. Hoshiro stared at the statue in wonder, her concerns over Yamame's diet completely forgotten.

Kasen made a noise which sounded like she was rolling her eyes. "It's only a statue, Hoshiro! We've got more important things to worry about."

"I just want to look at it!" Hoshiro said plaintively. "What's the ball for, Yamame? Does it do anything?"

Yamame shrugged. "Try licking it!"

"For bloomers' sake, don't under any circumstances try licking it!"

"I won't! Don't worry!" Hoshiro stomped over to the statue, reached out gingerly with a finger and touched the orb.

She felt a momentary shock, as if vast quantities of energy were flowing out of the orb, then nothing. Hoshiro blinked twice and stared at her metal-clad finger, which looked completely normal. Carefully she touched the tip of her nose, feeling the cold metal press against her skin. Still nothing happened.

"Nothing, huh? It figures," said Yamame, shrugging nonchalantly. "Ancient tengu explorers never clean up after themselves."

"This tunnel never ends!"

"It's definitely going to end, Hoshiro. You just need to be patient."

"Oh, that was a metaphor. I didn't mean it literally never ends."

Hoshiro was jogging along a wide tunnel, thin patches of silty mud splatting under her feet. The stone around her looked almost green in the faint underground light.

"Anyway, this road leads to the capital city of Former Hell, which we... Which the oni... Which people call the Former Capital. Before that, you'll come to an underground river," explained Kasen. "There could well be a monster guarding the bridge; I don't remember too clearly. If there is, just fly over the river instead of crossing the bridge. Is your objective clear?"

"Er, one thing! What if I fly directly above the bridge?"

Kasen blinked. "Er... I wouldn't worry about it."

Hoshiro could hear rushing water by then. The cavern started to widen out and soon a river emerged from the darkness, coursing across the cave's pebbly floor. There was a tatty wooden bridge over the river, and a blonde woman in a fancy Iranian dress stood on the splintery planks.

The woman gasped when she saw Hoshiro. "A stranger? No, a- a DRAGON?! What are you doing down here?!"

"A geyser erupted on the surface, threatening to flood the Human Village, spray hot water on people or much, much worse! I came here to investigate!" Hoshiro shouted, stopping in front of the bridge.

"Oh..." Parsee scowled. "I should've known. A dragon would never condescend to come down here without a 'good reason'."

Hoshiro blinked. "Um, is she the...?"

"I remember now," said Kasen grimly. "That's Parsley Mitsubishi, a once kind and friendly woman who became a youkai of jealousy. My opposite in every way."

"In every way? So she is transgender?"

Striding towards Hoshiro, Parsee frowned in confusion. "Who are you talking to?"

"...I have no idea, but don't underestimate her! She can turn you mad with jealousy!" Kasen said urgently.

Hoshiro gasped. "That's awful! Don't worry, she won't get close to me."

Parsee snapped her fingers in Hoshiro's face. "Oi! Gensokyo to tall dragon! Come in, please!"

"Uwah?!" Hoshiro stared at her, then sneezed. "Excuse me! I was just talking to-"

"Your imaginary friend who lives in your imagination. It happens," Parsee said, smiling through gritted teeth. "I'm jealous of how tall and well-built you are. I'm jealous of the long ponytails and detachable wings you dragons have. I'm jealous of how you can control the weather! I'm jealous because we don't get weather down here!"

Hoshiro stared open-mouthed for a few seconds, then she scowled. "If that's your attitude, I'll just go. Come on, Kasen!"

Hoshiro swept away from Parsee and stormed past, her clomping footsteps echoing through the cave.

"Wha... What?" Parsee was crestfallen. "Hey... Hey, stop! Y-you can't just... You can't just go and... Come back! It's not fair if you don't fight me! Ohhh..."

The deep road carried on for a little longer, then the tunnel opened up into the largest cavern Hoshiro had ever seen. Stretching out in all directions, curving like a soup plate, its ceiling arched high over the floor and its far walls barely visible through miles of fog, Former Hell made the Fantastic Blowhole look like a cupboard.

"Wow...!" breathed Hoshiro, staring out into the expanse. "It's huge! I had no idea this was down here!"

Villages were dotted around the distant slopes, clusters of orange lamps glowing in the twilight, and a small city nestled in the centre of the plains. Its slate rooves looked shiny and blue beneath the sun, its streets too distant and shadowy to make out.

"The Former Capital of Former Hell." Hoshiro smiled in the very particular way she'd learned from anime. "Then that's where we're going! Come on, Kasen!"

"I'm not technically coming with you. You don't need to say that every time," said Kasen.

"You are with me! Not physically, but of course you're here!" Hoshiro explained her reasoning while she ran down the winding road to the city. "Actually, something's confusing me. Why is there a sun underground?"

"A... A sun? This isn't the time for jokes, Hoshiro!"

"I wasn't joking! There's a sun, right there!" Hoshiro pointed at the flaming orb high above the city, shielding her eyes against its glare.

"I- I can't see it." Kasen sounded a little disappointed. "Is there really a...? What sort of sun are we talking about? Describe it to me!"

"Er, a radiant sphere of burning daffodil yellow, too bright to look upon! It lights up the cavern roof in beige and cream, casting stark shadows behind the stalactites and crags, and beams down on the Former Capital nestled far below. Even down here I feel its warmth on my skin!" described Hoshiro, saving the writer a bit of work.

"Well, that's very unusual," said Kasen quietly. "An underground sun and a geyser from underground. Could these things be connected in some way?"

"It's a real poser," said Hoshiro. She slowed down in front of the city gate, a thick blue torii that towered over the road, and wandered in.

The gravel gave way to cracked flagstones beneath her feet. She peered at the rows of shady wooden houses on either side, their faces brown, blue and grey in the dim light.

"The sun here isn't as bright the real sun," Hoshiro observed, peering upwards. "It isn't hanging from anything I can see. How weird!"

"Like it?" a voice shouted from somewhere unseen. "We had it put in last week!"

Hoshiro heard heavy footsteps echoing from a side street, then a stranger stomped into view. She was a tall, muscular woman wearing shackles, a white blouse and some sort of barred skirt with a single red horn on her forehead.

"Ohhh, dear." Kasen bit her lip, not that Hoshiro could see her biting anything. "That's Yuugi Hoshiguma, one of the Four Devas of the Mountain. She's friendly, but her version of friendliness puts the target in immediate danger! Be careful!"

"Yuugi Hoshiguma...?" repeated Hoshiro.

Yuugi's face brightened. "Oh, you know me! Then I'd better give you the proper welcome!"

Hoshiro blinked. "Wha-?"

Before she could voice the T at the end, Yuugi's large clenched fist ploughed into her nose. She slid backwards, her sabatons sparking on the flagstones, and came to a stop.

"...OW!" gasped Hoshiro.

"Wow, a strong new face!" laughed Yuugi, withdrawing her fist. "You, I like. Come on, let's get a drink!"

Hoshiro glared at her. "What's wrong with you?! That's no way to welcome someone!"

"I did try to warn you," said Kasen. "Try to get away before-"

"Who's that? Is that Kasen talking in your ear?!" Yuugi leaned uncomfortably close to Hoshiro. "Hellooooooo?! Yoo-hoo! Kasen!"

"I-I'm not here! Tell her I'm someone else!"

"Do you mind?!" cried Hoshiro, shoving Yuugi away.

Yuugi grinned. "That was definitely Kasen. Well, any friend of Kasen's a friend of mine. Shove the drink, let's have a proper fight!"

"No, Kasen clearly isn't comfortable, so we're going. 'Bye!" Hoshiro stomped off along the road.

"Oi! Didn't you hear me?!"

Hoshiro felt heavy footfalls behind her, then a sharp pull on her hair. Yuugi had her by the ponytail.

"Aaugh! Wh- what are you doing?!" demanded Hoshiro, straining against the tension on her scalp.

"Isn't it obvious? Giving you a proper welcome!" laughed Yuugi.

A sharp tug separated Hoshiro's feet from the ground, then she was flying through the air, whirling around helplessly like a slingshot.

"Aaaaaaaargh!" Hoshiro screamed.

"Wheeeee!" Yuugi squealed, then she let go.

Hoshiro smashed through the front window of a maid cafe, barged through a couple of mannequins in frilly dresses and ploughed head-first into the counter, where she lay slumped over the floor.

"Hoshiro! Oh, gods!" Kasen cried out in horror. "Yuugi's terribly strong, perhaps even moreso than me, but you can beat her at range. Subterranean Animism is a shooting game, not a fighting game! Use that to your advantage! ...Hello? Are you listening?"

When no reply came for a few seconds more, Kasen started to panic. "Oh, no, she's dead. I- I've sent her to her death! This poor, overenthusiastic dragon, so eager to please... I sent her to her death, all because I wasn't ready to face the other oni!" She screamed, full of despair and regret. "Hoshiro! Please, stand up! You have to stand up!"

Hoshiro groaned. "Ka... Kasen? Is that you?"

"Hoshiro! Oh, thank Ryuujin you're all right. If you- If you'd died because of me...!"

"He isn't really involved! Only sent me my... Armour..." Hoshiro shifted awkwardly, her armour scraping the tiles. "Um, my horns are stuck in the counter."

After a moment's struggle Hoshiro stood up, bringing half the counter with her. Pieces of tile and splintered wood clattered around her feet as she stormed out of the cafe, an angry look and a frilly headdress on her face.

"All right, Yuugi, you can have your proper fight!" shouted Hoshiro, adopting a dynamic combat stance. "Defend yourself!"

Yuugi whooped and punched the air. "That's the spirit! Let's do this!"

Yuugi lowered her head and charged, the flagstones cracking beneath her sandals. Hoshiro swung her body to the side and grabbed Yuugi around the shoulders, missing her horn by an inch.

As the momentum shunted her backwards, Hoshiro twisted around and threw Yuugi down the road. Yuugi rolled onto her feet, still smiling, and charged at Hoshiro.

This time Yuugi came at her with a blistering punch. Hoshiro batted it aside, their arms colliding with the force of a serious car accident, and kicked her in the shin.

"Ow!" Yuugi stomped on Hoshiro's foot. Hoshiro hopped backwards, gritting her teeth through the pain, and launched a kick at Yuugi's stomach.

Yuugi spun like a whirlwind and kicked Hoshiro's kick off to the side. Hoshiro cartwheeled away from a flurry of punches and stopped to catch her breath.

Lights were being turned on now, dozens of sleepy underground youkai poking their heads out of windows on either side of the road. Hoshiro bit her lip. The maid cafe had been empty, but if she or Yuugi got careless again, people someone could get hurt.

"Yuugi!" Hoshiro said urgently. "Please, calm down for a bit. You don't need to fight me!"

"Ohh, why not?! It's fun!" Yuugi replied. "Right, girls?! A day without violence is like a night without drinking!"

A scattered cheer emerged from the gawping youkai.

"But I'm not your enemy, Yuugi! I came to defeat the geyser- Er, no, to find its source and defeat them or otherwise stop the thing!" argued Hoshiro.

Yuugi blinked. "Geyser? Oh, you must be after that woman from earlier!"

Kasen gasped. "Woman from earlier?! Finally we're getting somewhere! Press her, Hoshiro, get some information!"

"I'm pressing, I'm pressing! Who's the woman from earlier, Yuugi?! Tell us about- me about her!"

"She had long hair, frilly clothes and something stuck to her hand, a magic energy beam cannon. She was stronger than the sun, she almost set the city on fire! I knew it was gonna be an exciting day when she came through," said Yuugi, smiling at the happy memory.

"Stronger than the sun... What the fantasy seal are we dealing with?!" breathed Kasen.

"A sun goddess with a grudge? A western dragon? Or- No, what if she's Amaterasu's dark mirror, the kami of the underground sun?!" Hoshiro gasped. "Sorry, Yuugi, I really need to go! Can you tell me where she might be?!"

Yuugi scratched her head. "I think she went that way, to the Palace of the Earth Spirits. Must've been heading for the Hell of Blazing Fires. Why's it so important for you to meet her, anyway?"

"We don't want Reimu's feet to get wet! Goodbye!"

Before Yuugi could try anything, Hoshiro shot up into the air. A sonic boom sounded as she flew away at speed.

"Blimey," said Yuugi. "Does she know the Palace is...?"

A streak of red and pink flashed by overhead, going the other way.

"Ahhh." Yuugi smiled. "Got there in the end!"

"I do wonder how that cat broke her wheelbarrow." Hoshiro spoke quickly as she flew down mile-long corridors, purple stained glass windows flashing past. "Wish we'd had time to ask her. Gee, what were they doing down here?!"

There were cracks on the floor, walls and ceiling, occasional scorched impact craters still smouldering from a fight. Handfuls of animal-eared youkai were milling around and trying to patch things up.

"I don't know, but it looks bad. A power greater than the sun..."

"I couldn't even beat the sun!" lamented Hoshiro. The air around her was growing warmer, the wallpaper and carpet giving way to bare bricks and stone, then the hallway opened up into another cavern. "Kasen, where are we?!"

"I've never been here before. All I can think of is..." Kasen gasped. "Could it be the Hell of Blazing Fires? It was shut down centuries ago, but it's the only place that makes sense! Hoshiro, listen to me, you mustn't die! It's incredibly important that you don't die in the Hell of Blazing Fires, do you understand?!"

"I try not to die anywhere!" Hoshiro was starting to sweat from the heat. She could see a warm orange glow up ahead, as if the tunnel opened up onto a vast wall of fire. Another sun? Surely not; that would just be excessive.

"Kasen..." Hoshiro took a deep breath. "Before it gets crazy again, I want you to know know-"

"You don't need to say anything," said Kasen, letting some softness into her voice. "I know how you feel about me, and it's... Well, I can't say I blame you. You're good company and, I believe, a good person, and I'd definitely miss you if anything were to..." She swallowed. "Don't let anything happen to you. Come out of there safely. Is your objective clear?"

"Crystal clear. I promise." Hoshiro nodded solemnly. "And- and next time, let's resolve an Incident together! Without the Metroid parody stuff that hasn't gone anywhere and should probably just be cut altogether!"

Kasen smiled, not that Hoshiro could see any smiles going on. "I'd love to. For now, though, let's focus on stopping the geysers."

"Right." Hoshiro squared her shoulders. "Whoever it is, whatever power they have, I won't lose to a duplicate sun! For Reimu's feet and all the feet in Gensokyo-"

A shadow passed over Hoshiro's face. "Wha-?! Who's there?!"

There was a woman, her long hair shining under the glow from behind, flying out of the deep cave. She wore a frilly skirt and a white blouse, a mantle of blue behind her shoulders, and in her hand she held a round device that still glowed with power. She flew towards Hoshiro with the calm confidence of a warrior who could face down the sun.

"Hi, Hoshiro!" Marisa said brightly. "Guess you got here too late. I already beat her!"

"I don't believe it. Even doing everything right, I boobed again."

"We didn't boob, Hoshiro, we just... Took our time. You must remember that when it comes to Incidents, all's well that ends well, and it looks like it has ended well thanks to Marisa."

"All right, ladies, step this way!" Marisa led Hoshiro into a well-lit dining room decorated with tall dressers and brightly-coloured pillows.

A tired-looking woman in pink and purple clothes was sitting at a long wooden table. She looked up expectantly when Marisa came in. Beside her was a tall black-haired woman wearing a white blouse and a very sheepish expression.

"This is Satori the satori, the palace's owner. And this is Utsuho." Marisa gestured to the black-haired woman, who started guiltily at the mention of her name.

"Satori, Utsuho, this is Hoshiro," Marisa continued. "She's an Incident-Resolver who got here too late."

Satori met Hoshiro with a piercing purple gaze. "Hmm... Yes, that makes sense. You're surprised, confused and more than a little jealous of Marisa."

Hoshiro's face reddened. "Um, not JEALOUS jealous, I wish I'd done better and not been shown up again?"

"I know," said Satori. "There's no need to be ashamed. Everyone has selfish or uncharitable thoughts sometimes, and we can't be blamed for what our subconscious minds shout unbidden. Now, Utsuho...?"

Utsuho took a deep breath and stood up. "There's something I need to say," she declared, avoiding Marisa and Hoshiro's eyes. "I'm... sorry I used the Yatagarasu's power to overcharge the nuclear fusion reactor in the Remains of Blazing Hell to the point where it caused problems on the surface. It was selfish and wrong of me."

Hoshiro's eyes glazed over. She'd lost track halfway through the sentence. "Um... You're sorry you overcharged what?"

Marisa snorted. "That's Utsuho for you! I suppose she isn't really what you were expecting."

"'She' is sitting right there," said Satori severely.

"I'm standing up, actually," Utsuho pointed out. "If it matters. Actually, it probably doesn't."

Hoshiro was amazed. This was nothing like the evil twin Amaterasu she'd been expecting. "Utsuho... You seem perfectly nice! I don't understand," she said softly. "Why did you overcharge... Use the... Why did you do the thing you did?!"

Utsuho laughed nervously. "I- I don't understand the question."

"She's asking for your reasoning," said Satori patiently. "What led you to abuse your powers? What made you think it was a good idea?"

"Oh." Utsuho cast her eyes down. "I don't know! All I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time. And I wanted to explore the limits of my capabilities. And it was fun. But what wasn't fun was the-" Utsuho's brow furrowed. "Lady Satori, I've forgotten what problems I actually caused on the surface. What were they?"

"The geyser," said Satori. "And the earth spirits who got loose."

Utsuho gasped. "Earth spirits got loose?! Way cool!"

"No, it isn't! It isn't! You're apologising, remember?" Satori said urgently. "Apologies involve contrition and an understanding of wrongdoing, not pride. I could write it down for you if..."

"Oh, no, I forgot!" Utsuho put her head in her hands. "Augh, this is rubbish! I can't do this. Nuclear fusion is my speciality, not understanding of wrongdoing!"

"Don't feel bad! Your apology was fine until that part!" Hoshiro reached over the table and patted Utsuho on the head, giving Satori a brief angry look. "I understand. It's hard to admit your faults. That's nothing to be ashamed of, Utsuho! What matters is that you tried."

"R-really?" Utsuho looked hopeful. "My apology isn't a complete failure? I'm so glad!"

"I don't believe what I'm hearing," said Kasen heavily. "Why are you comforting her when she nearly brought ruin to Gensokyo?!"

"She clearly regrets it! Don't be harsh on her," said Hoshiro severely.

Satori gave her a strange look. "I never said anything about being harsh. The truth is I can't control Utsuho at this point, so rather than punishing her for vengeance's sake-"

Satori blinked, confusion writ large across her face. "Kasen...? Oh, your friend who's talking into your head, not me! Sorry, but if you will talk to an unseen companion without telling us, it can really get confusing."

Marisa nodded. "Mm-hmm. I completely agree, Alice, and to answer your other question I'm wearing the black ones today. Yes, with the little star on each... You know."

"What's she talking about? Have you changed your name to Alice?!" gasped Kasen. "More to the point, why do you need to know the colour of her-"

"No, Marisa was talking to Alice- Sorry, that was me talking to Kasen." Hoshiro cleared her throat. "What- what do we do now?"

"Now?" Kasen sighed heavily. "I have a nap. Feel free to come back and join me."

Whatever the blushing Hoshiro might have stammered out in response was lost to history, because that was the moment Rin chose to burst in with a laden tea tray.

"Ex- excuse me!" she shouted. "Lady Satori? I thought you might want some tea for the, um, court martial."

Satori's face brightened. "Yes, that would be wonderful! And there's no need to be nervous, Orin, we're only having a... Friendly discussion."

"Oh, so you aren't gonna kill her. Well, of course not!" Rin breathed a sigh of relief. "I- I don't know why I worried. Who wants tea and cake?"