~Linhalaith's The Lord of the Rings Online Picture Diary~

The Lord of the Rings Online is a well-established MMORPG set in Middle-earth, the richly detailed European fantasy world immortalised in J.R.R. Tolkien's literary works. I decided to make an SSLP in it.

What you're about to read is the picture diary of Linhalaith, a kind and courageous Elvish warrior with a camera and a very full scrapbook. I aim to cover everything from the tutorial lands of Thorin's Gate, to the unknown place where I'll probably get bored of The Lord of the Rings Online in a few months.

Chapter 3: Linhalaith's Bucket Conveyance and Hobbit Fortification Working Holiday

The campaign against the Dourhand clan had stalled somewhat. Linhalaith took the opportunity to head south-east and explore the Shire, a friendly, pastoral place which she'd last visited some fifty years past. Her aim was to help some of the locals with their troubles and fend off the more rambunctious wildlife, until she reached level ten or eleven, as recommended for the next main quest.

It was beautiful in the Shire, so lush and so green. Linhalaith felt she could have stayed there for years. She wandered the verdant hillsides and winding roads, stabbed various wild boar, bonked wolves with her shield, stomped on shrews, and kicked brigands in the nads (if they had any) or shins (if they didn't).

Among the brigands, there was some debate over whether the shins or the nads were more vulnerable to kicking, but by and by the sensitivity of the nads won out.

Linhalaith was heedless that she'd caused such consternation among the brigands. Anon she came to Michel Delving, where she got to talking with a friendly Hobbit named Bingo Boffin. Although at first she couldn't stop laughing at his name, and Bingo needed eight attempts to spell Linhalaith, they grew to enjoy each other's company.

Bingo had an unusual request. He'd come to fancy going on Adventures, much like certain other Hobbits who'd come under scrutiny lately - Freddo Bagshot, hadn't it been, and that shy boyfriend of his? Tram-Lines Haligtree, something like that. To help Bingo prepare for his journey, Linhalaith agreed to "assess the produce" at the town market.

"Apples to apples, russet to russet... But what am I assessing?" --Linhalaith

While she was at the market, Linhalaith bought herself some new clothes. The vest was rather tight, but was at least her colour, and the shoes were comfy for when she needed not worry about a troll biting her calf. Or a brigand, investigating how Elves responded to being kicked in the shins.

On the way back to Bingo's hole, somebody gave Linhalaith a bucket to carry. I must confess that the meaning and purpose of the bucket escape me right now.

Linhalaith also visited the Great Smials at one point, where she spent an afternoon admiring the paintings on display.

"The brushwork is deceptively simple, yet it coalesces into a truly breathtaking picture. Simply inspired!" --Linhalaith

Anyway, Linhalaith's return to Bingo was a triumphant one. She remembered most of the prices for food and produce, and that Hugo Broadbelt had given her such a look when she asked if his pie was for sale. Bingo nodded thoughtfully, and informed Linhalaith that if she snuck into the orchard at Appledores, she could probably grab a few fallen apples for free.

"The ones at market hardly seemed expensive," grumbled Linhalaith, stuffing her handbag and both pockets with slightly muddy apples. "Well within budget for a home-owner in the Shire's capital city, I would think! But if the joy of a borrowed apple would warm Bingo's heart, who am I to gainsay him?"

With his apples secured, Bingo confessed to Linhalaith another concern. He was hardly, he would be the first to admit, the fittest or most athletic person in the Shire, and Bingo had read of how much walking an Adventure might involve. Before his journey, he was going to need to start training.

Linhalaith suggested beating up vale-lynxes and Dourhand scouts, which had worked quite well for her. Bingo, however, had other ideas. He was going to climb the Stocktower, a tower near the village of Stock. It was an amused and curious She-Elf in red shoulder pads who followed him there...

Bingo's climb wasn't quite as unimpressive as it may look - Linhalaith is standing on quite a tall piece of wood, which didn't make it into the shot.

...And it was a very amused She-Elf in brown leggings and a third of a suit of armour who lifted him back down.

"I think... I've bitten off... More than I can climb..." Bingo panted. "Say, Linhalaith, why... Why don't you climb up there, hm? Show me how it's done."

Linhalaith winced. Of course she could climb, better indeed than some of her kin, and of course there was some joy to be found in Showing Off - the game engine, however, made no allowance for climbing. The best she could hope to do was run, unmoving, against the side of the Stocktower, pressing her nose into the stonework...

"W-well, dear Bingo, here is an idea!" Linhalaith said brightly. "Perhaps, if climbing does not suit you, you might have more luck learning to swim?"

Bingo was not against the idea, and with a little encouragement, he waded out until the water came up to his knees! That was as far as he went. He admitted that he didn't have the foggiest idea how to swim, and asked Linhalaith if she wouldn't mind terribly giving him a demonstration.

Linhalaith, sopping wet, wishing she'd left her cloak behind

Linhalaith wondered, as she swam at full tilt over the rushing Brandywine river, how much more she could indulge Bingo. Would he be asking for sword-fighting lessons next? A hair cut, a new hand-crafted pair of socks, a porter (in red shoulder-pads) to carry his suitcase to bloody Pertorogwaith?

No, she was getting carried away. Most likely, Bingo would hike to Bree or north into the Yondershire, where he'd either find his footing and carry on without help or run back to the Shire in floods of tears. Her part in the tale would soon be over, and she'd be free to take care of other business.

Some engineers in work boots and smart little waistcoats were doing work on the Brandywine Bridge, meaning Linhalaith had to swim back as well. She stumbled, panting and dripping wet, onto the muddy bank in front of the Stocktower, met Bingo's eye and gave him a very pained thumbs-up.

"Incredible, Linhalaith! Simply incredible!" cried Bingo, from the picnic mat he'd set up with the gawpers from before. "I truly feel ready to swim, now that I've seen you do it. Although seeing you just now, something does worry me a little."

For Eru's sake, Linhalaith didn't say. "What is it, Bingo?" she asked politely.

"Supposing I needed to burrow," said Bingo. "Well, not 'burrow', necessarily, but supposing I had to find my way past some horrible, deep mud, like you'd find out in the marish. How would you cope with that? Would you try and swim through it, use a pair of stilts, or...?"

"Goodbye, Bingo," said Linhalaith.

Linhalaith, warm and mud-free, wondering if she should stay for the Farmers' Faire